“Narcissism is not a new personality disorder, but it is surreptitiously fashionable,” health psychologist Júlia Pascual writes in her book. This attitude or personality trait, which can be very attractive a priori, is very harmful for people who have to deal with a narcissist. As the therapist points out, there is a problem that is currently hidden from the spotlight and the applause of the media and, above all, from new technologies. In fact, these, mainly with the promotion of social networks, have a way of working and intoxicating the user’s habits that encourages and rewards the narcissistic attitude. Very often, success, power, fame and everything we associate as desirable is identified with narcissistic behaviors that we learn as values to imitate if we want to have a satisfying life.
In order to detect these people, as well as those who have one more trait of the dark triad of personality, psychopathy, we recommend three books written by psychology experts that help us unmask these people and give us tools to be able to escape from his power.
– Read more: High self-esteem or narcissism: where is the limit?
Narcissists and you, by Julia Pascual (Ed. Zenith)
The book consists of four parts. In the first, the conceptual bases of narcissism are displayed and it focuses on the particularities of the narcissistic nature, defining it and asking if the narcissist is born or made; In addition, it offers guidelines to prevent the little ones from becoming a narcissist in the “era of the self”.
In the second, we contemplate the narcissistic typologies and their weak points that the author uses as levers of change to engage strategically. In the third, he will teach us how to deal with narcissists, detecting and reversing their manipulation techniques.
In the fourth, he focuses on work, family and sentimental relationships with narcissists. And it is that, as the author of the book points out, those who have suffered or suffer from a narcissistic person in their environment know how easy it is to get confused in a relationship from which it is very difficult to get out, since the narcissist usually reward and punish randomly, which generates confusion in the other. For this reason, this book also has the purpose of putting order so that you can identify, understand and act accordingly.
Toxic People, by Silvia Congost (Ed. Zenith)
As the author of this manual explains, we know that because we are social beings, humans need to relate with others and that our interpersonal relationships are the basis and essential ingredient of our existence. Therefore, how we bond and how these relationships are will be something that will directly interfere with the quality of our life.
The author also reflects on the increase in sick leave due to anxiety and depression. And it points to relationship problems as one of the main reasons why we suffer from these problems. For maintaining relationships with people in our closest environment who are toxic to us, whether in the workplace, friendship, family or partner.
Silvia Congost warns that having a relationship with someone who is toxic to you can mean that, if you continue by their side, you end up completely destroying yourself, both psychologically and physically and emotionally. The author also dedicates an entire chapter to narcissists, and how we fall into their networks from which it is very difficult for us to get out. We too list the different types of narcissism and gives us the keys to recognize them and get rid of them.
– Read more: 11 Ways To Be A Narcissist (You Surely Wouldn’t Say)
My boss is a psychopath, by Iñaki Piñuel (Ed. Sphere of books)
The author of this book tells us about a kind of psychos which are not like the ones we are used to seeing in horror movies, full of eviscerations, blood and all kinds of ‘fine offal’. The individuals he describes are psychological and social predators white glove psychologists call integrated psychopaths. These types of individuals rarely manifest themselves as bloody criminals, but they continually and unremittingly spread evil and suffering in organizations.
The book explains the way of thinking of the modern and up-to-date integrated psycho: a generally charming and seductive type endowed with an unbeatable image before others, but with the ability to lead both people and organizations to suffering and disaster. You can be born a psychopath, but also that you can become a psychopath under certain conditions.
The book narrates the existence in organizations of a dark triad of psychosocially dangerous individuals who present one of the three basically psychopathic personalities. This perverse triad of Machiavellian individuals, aberrant self-promoters (climbers), and narcissists is discussed at length towards the middle of the book.
The last part is intended to show how do you go to the dark sidenot from the conscious and deliberate decision to become a psychopath, but through a progressive and gradual process of indifference and annulment of the moral faculty and the development of an emotional anesthesia that becomes an irreversible disability.