Can a psychopath fall in love or not?

Can a psychopath fall in love? This question plunges us fully into the emotional world of people who, in a sense, live in the dark in it.

Can a psychopath fall in love or not?

Last update: November 05, 2022

Can a psychopath fall in love? Answering this question forces us to answer another: what do we mean by “love”? The truth is that although each of us may have our own definition, there is a certain consensus that it falls into the world of emotions.

Furthermore, it is important to differentiate love, and falling in love from romantic relationships, since, in the latter case, psychopaths can have this type of relationship. However, being in love and loving is not the same as having a romantic relationship.

Let’s analyze what a psychopath’s mind is like and because his way of loving will be far from that of people who are not affected by psychopathy. Finally, we will talk about what a romantic relationship with a psychopath can be like.

What is a psychopath?

A psychopath is a person with narcissistic characteristics, unable to feel emotionsfeelings of guilt or remorse, using others to their advantage.

For the psychopath, people are a way to satisfy their desires, but nothing more. This does not mean that they cannot make us believe otherwise, through their manipulation techniques.

Psychopathy: Antisocial personality disorder in the DSM-5

In the DSM-5 ( Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders ), psychopathy is listed as ” antisocial personality disorder “. This alteration implies the following symptoms or characteristics:

  • Deviant social behavior.
  • Manipulation towards others to your advantage.
  • Lack of respect for the rules or rights of others (and contempt and violation of these).
  • Lack of empathy and ability to feel emotions.

Intellectually, his ability is fully preserved. It is estimated that up to 3% of the population may suffer from an antisocial personality disorder.

Having said that, do you think a psychopath can fall in love?

“The psychopath devalues ​​others so that he can feel like a unique and special being.”

-Vicente Garrido Genoves-

Psychopaths often manipulate others to get what they want or need from them.

Is it possible for a psychopath to fall in love?

Well, it depends on what we mean by love. If we refer to what is commonly understood as ” a feeling of keen affection and inclination towards a person or thing to which he wishes all the best “, We can say no, a psychopath cannot fall in love. Either way, he might fall in love “his way”, but not the way most of us mean it socially.

Therefore, a psychopathic person, not being able to feel emotions in general, does not even feel love, and therefore could not fall in love as most people do, since they do not have that ability.

On the other hand, we know that romantic love for most “mortals” it implies intimacy, passion and commitment and is a very human emotion. However, for a psychopath, love takes on a different meaning, as does falling in love.

“The psychopath’s lack of empathy prevents him from feeling pleasure by observing the happiness of others. The pleasure of others causes only envy and greed. “

-Vicente Garrido Genoves-

Love for the psycho

The meaning of love for a psychopathic person it can be very different from the meaning that a person without psychopathy attaches to this type of feeling. For example, it may happen that for these people love is one-sided, that is they make the other fall in love with them. They can also understand love as a form of gratification, something that provides them with what they need.

Therefore, they can understand love in an unbalanced way (although this does not always have to happen, logically), or as a source of material goods. And to get love, they can resort to strategies like manipulation, deceit and lies.

And is that, for the psychopath, love is like a game of seduction, where he can get what he wants (sex, money, company…), but not love itself. Therefore, their goal will be to get the love of the other to take advantage of that love and not to enjoy it. For this, and for some other reason, we say that love for a psychopath is different.

“True love is nothing more than the inevitable desire to help the other be who they are.”

-Jorge Bucay-

Romantic relationships: can a psychopath fall in love?

Although the psychopath cannot fall in love as such, can establish romantic relationships.

However, these will be based on their own interest (on something the psychopathic person wants to achieve and maintain).

For a psychopath, social relationships are a way to get what he needs in that moment.

In this way, on what they are based or on what they are supported your personal relationships? Basically they are based on the psychopath’s search for three elements:

Relationships based on avoidant attachment

On the other hand, in most relationships a psychopath forms, it can be easy to identify avoidant attachment. How come? Because they are unable to establish intimate, emotional and honest relationships.

Avoidant attachment is that manifested by people who do not seek the support of others, who do not they tolerate emotional intimacy, which makes it extremely difficult for them to build deep and lasting relationships.

What would a romantic relationship with a psychopath be like?

Psychopaths have a marked lack of empathy, as well as an inability to feel and express emotions (if they do, they are reproducing what they have learned socially, but not what they really feel, because they cannot prove it).

For this reason the relationships that we can establish with a psychopathic person will not be easy, even if they can manipulate them and make us believe things that are not (in the end everything falls under his own weight and one day the psychopath loses his mask).

So, chances are, by establishing an “intimate” relationship with a psychopath, you will be too witness of his great difficulties in identifying what it needs (due to that lack of empathy). It will be difficult for him to put himself in your shoes, and also in that of others.

It doesn’t always have to be a manipulation

However, we don’t want to generalizeand although psychopaths may exercise manipulation, or may not be honest in their romantic relationships, the truth is that this doesn’t always have to happen.

And it is also good to understand that what happens in many cases is that it can be more It is difficult for people with psychopathy to avoid the temptation to engage in manipulative behaviorprecisely because of the difficulties they have in establishing an emotional connection with the others.

Can a psychopath fall in love? Behaviors adapted

Furthermore, there are also people with psychopathy who are able to behave in an adapted way (although it may be less natural to them, or cost them more), and if only because other important variables come into play, such as reinforcement towards normative behavior (ie, others that reinforce the fact that they exhibit socially “expected” behaviors).

So it’s important not to generalize, but to understand what’s behind it the behavior of a person psychopathic.

Psychopaths can be in a relationship, but they don’t experience love like other people.

Absence of commitment and absence of remorse

On the other hand, and as we said at the beginning, one of the main ingredients in romantic relationships is commitment. Well, the psychopath can have great difficulty engaging, due to his great impulsiveness and the imperative and pressing of his desires.

And since he doesn’t even feel guilty if he hurts, he won’t have remorse. Therefore, we recommend that you get to know your partner well, because psychopaths know how to give us what “we expect of them” to achieve their goals.

However, we insist that every person is differentincluding psychopaths, and for this reason it is important to get to know our future partner thoroughly, as well as free ourselves from the prejudices that we may have at the beginning.

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Can a psychopath fall in love or not?