“Since 2018 I have used the Tinder App. If I analyze these years, I can say that my experience has been good: there have been express meetings that did not go beyond one date, others in which I wanted more meetings, but it did not flow. And it is that the expectations that one carries when meeting a new person and the ideal that we have of a “good” man, sometimes plays against us. But also in this process my last two dating relationships have come out, which I enjoyed, and in which there was a lot of affection. For the same reason I wanted to motivate my mother who at 64 years old divorced my father, to enter Tinder.
My parents were together for more than 30 years and their relationship was wearing thin over the years. I lived this process in the same house with them and witnessed how coexistence worsened until the time came when they had to separate. A decision that my father made and that my mother, at her age, greatly resented. She was afraid that she would not be able to rearm, she did not have a job and she thought that she would be left alone. It was very bad from the emotional point of view.
Shortly after my dad left home, the pandemic hit. That made us spend more time together. I’ve always had a lot of trust with her, so in the middle of the lockdown I started telling her about my adventures on Tinder. I remember we were both in the room when I was telling her about one of these stories and it occurred to me to tell her to try it. He looked at me and laughed. He thought it was a joke. But I insisted. I showed him how to access it and told him that he had to choose the best photos of him. She kept thinking it was a joke, she was dying of shame. I told him that it wouldn’t necessarily be to find a partner, that there he could meet people, have friends, go out for a while. After that, I saw in her eyes some interest in entering, so I insisted. We went through the photos of her, we chose some of her, we filtered her age and I said: ‘if you like someone you swipe this way, if not, you pass it’.
And so he entered. One day at lunch, I began to talk to him about the care he should have. I told him that if she met someone, he had to do it in a public place and that he never had to give his address to the first one, in case she met a psychopath. She started looking at me with a guilty face. That was how I found out that she had already gotten together with a man. We laugh. And I reinforced the idea that she had to be careful but not alarmed. I did it because she is my mother and I saw her as a woman who was coming out into the world after many years inside her house.
Thus came a second, third, and perhaps how many more encounters. What I know is that today he has several friends. With some he only chats, but there are others with whom he has played. With one of them, she sees regularly, he invites her to meetings with other older people, to have a coffee or a drink out there. She has maintained the bond with these people and that has revitalized her. She actually she now she entered swimming lessons at a club near the house. I see that he cares much more about her, about being pretty, about getting ready. And I love that and it also reassures me, because at some point I will leave the house and she will be alone.
A year after inviting her to Tinder, I am happy with this decision. It’s just that enough time was spent worrying about her children and her husband, it was time for him to worry about her too. And so it has been. After many years in which her relationship with my father was stagnant, she was able to have the opportunity to meet people, and the truth is, I see her happy. That light that her divorce took from her, Tinder gave it back. Obviously not only that App, it was also her strength that made her, step by step, rearm herself as a woman from many aspects. However, it was this App, the one that sparked her days”.
Soraya is 33 years old.