If Sánchez told the truth…

My Person has invented an Orwellian propaganda blunder, which it calls the “Accountability Report” and which recalls Putin’s annual press conferences. The mechanics are simple: Sánchez comes to the fore delighted to have met, gives himself honors and announces a car of subsidies to buy votes at the expense of the public treasury.

let’s fabule Let’s imagine that on the morning of the great Accountability, a Moncloa waiter with a secret liberal spirit manages to spill a few drops of truth serum in the morning coffee of the great progressive helmsman. Sánchez undergoes a brutal metabolic transformation and comes clean. The Accountability would then look like this:

Boy friends and girl friends. Although on that poster that I have hung on my back it says “Compliance”, the truth is that I have only complied with Junqueras and Chapote.

In economics, although I spend all day boasting about the lowest inflation in Europe, the truth is that the shopping basket has risen by 15%. The unemployment rate of 12.5% ​​is the worst in the EU and doubles the average. We are also leaders in youth unemployment, 32.2%, that is, I am leaving an entire generation of Spaniards without a future. European funds are underused, due to sheer administrative incompetence of my Government for all. Finally, together with the Czechs, we are the only ones in the EU that have not yet recovered their pre-covid GDP. Hey.

In politics, this year I have once again sold my country at the Junqueras and Otegui counter. I have become a colleague of Bildu, facilitating the mass exit to the streets of ETA members. Even Chapote, the psychopathic gunman who killed Miguel Ángel Blanco, has received benefits. I have given Junqueras in this 2022 the gift of charging me with the crime of sedition, so that he can perpetrate his next coup at ease, and I have reduced the embezzlement, so that he can stand in the next elections. Why do I do it? Well, because if this guy makes me stupid, Bego and I see ourselves evicting the Moncloa, which is the only thing that is cool and important to us. The Catalans are already announcing that next year they are going to demand a referendum from me, and even if I tell you here that never ever, in the end it will be yes. The same as I lied to you with Bildu, with the coalition with Podemos, with the pardons, with the embezzlement, the sedition… In fact, my urges to control the TC at all milk attend to the fact that I need that court to strain the query that They are going to sue me in exchange for supporting me. I am never going to win an election easily, so I have to go balls hand in hand with Bildu, Podemos, ERC and the PNV. Either the anti-Spanish Frankenstein, or I run out of power. That is the only equation. And I have already chosen.

I cannot fail to refer in this Accountability to the fact that in 2022 I have slit the throats of judges who dare not be “progressives”, to the point of skipping the legislative procedures to suffocate them. It has been so jevi, I have passed so much, that the TC itself has had to stop me, which in a democracy like the English or German would have cost me my job. But here, with my TVs, nothing, a joke.

In this 2022, I have marked the King that there is only one sovereign here, the menda of Tetuán. I have arrived late for the parade, I have cheated on him on a protocol trip by AVE, I have frozen his budget (while raising my salary by 4%), I have not told him a thing about the diplomatic turn in the Sahara , despite the fact that I have a constitutional duty to do so, and I have also left the speech of his life, that of 2017, in borage water, de facto legalizing what he denounced then.

With those that I have complied with are the separatists. Apart from everything I have already said, Illa marvel and I have helped them to smoke the sentence of 25% Spanish in the Catalan school, which has been less respected than a scientist in the Taliban Kabul.

I cannot finish Accountability without referring to social engineering. We have given the rattle to the fullest, as always. We have approved a psychedelic trans law, which has pissed off even the PSOE feminists, and we continue with the pro-death crusade with another twist in favor of abortion, blacklisting objecting doctors. Irene, a legal idiot, also brought a legally absurd law, the “yes is yes” law, but I accepted the mess, with the result that we have already benefited more than a hundred rapists. And then, in bloody sarcasm, we go as super feminists…

In summary, friends and friends: shame and shame. But even so, I announce that I am going to try to win the elections by polishing myself ten billion to buy votes through aid to the Peronists, which all of you, your children and grandchildren are going to pay for, and which are going to leave the public treasury trembling. But if it helps me to win, fine. And if I spank and leave the country bankrupt, well, I don’t care, let the next one eat it.

If Sánchez told the truth…