In March 2019, the profile of the typical unfaithful woman was shared by a specialized dating site: 37 years old on average, senior executive, city dweller, married for more than five years and mother of two children. Various studies also tend to show that more and more women are turning to infidelity (they were 31% to declare having already cheated in 2014, they were 33% in 2016). Who are these women ? What are their motivations? How do they organize their lives? These are the questions we wanted to ask some of them.
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Anika is 34 when his companion for 7 years pushes her, according to her, to infidelity : “It was during a conversation between friends and we had a little drink. I was shocked to discover that my companion thought there was no risk that me, I cheat on him. He said it like that “Anika, that’s for sure, it’s not her type”. I dug and, in fact, he thought a little that I was too plan-plan, too boring for that but also that I was not the type physically of men who sleep with women in a relationship with. In short, the total. The discussion escalated into an argument and it ended up as some kind of challenge. I told him that I was quite capable of deceive him if I wanted to and he said “chick” to me.”
Video. Michèle Bernier: “I was a faithful and unfaithful woman.”
A sentence that leaves traces
The next day, the couple does not speak again of this alcoholic argument: “I think he thought it was as if we were yelling at each other to find out if one film was better than another. Me, I had been hurt but he didn’t see anything, which isn’t surprising given his condition at the time. I didn’t talk about it again because I didn’t want to hear hurtful things from his mouth yet. But in a corner of my head, I kept this idea. I needed to go to the end of the case to be worth more than he thought. It was an ego thing and it became vital.
Anika approaches the question with pragmatism: “I had no idea about who would make a good lover, I did not know anyone who could fill this role so I registered on an adult dating site. No question either of pretending to be single and having to play the game of flirting. I wanted people to find me attractive, but only sexually. I have no doubt that I’m an interesting woman, I don’t need an ego boost for that. I had several proposals in a week and I chose a man who I liked a little and who seemed discreet.”
They meet at his house: “I didn’t think this man could be a psychopath, I admit. I’m the type to organize things a lot, and I wanted everything to stick to the idea and the plan that I I had in mind. I got ready like for an important appointment, with lots of creams and perfumes, I shaved my hair, I put on clothes that were easy to take off. I even considered the trench coat with nothing below. And then I went. When I have something in my head, I’m a determined person. In the end, it was he, who was the most used to it, who was the most embarrassed. “
A pleasant sexual intercourse… but nothing more
They share satisfying sex : “I wasn’t expecting the fireworks because I need love to let go completely. But it was good all the same. He took the time to take care of me, he insisted on give me cunnilingus. I didn’t cum, but I knew it in advance. It was really pleasant and psychologically I loved feeling the power I had over him, what my body and my desire caused on his body. I just needed that. I went home with a feeling of victory. My man had been wrong, I was capable and I could even do this well.”
Video. “Female infidelity is more common than you might imagine.”
Anika is still in a relationship with her companion: “A few years have passed and we have shared a lot. We have been through several trials and I remember that for one of them, he admitted that he was proud me because he didn’t think I would be able to handle the situation. It was that assertion, his admitting that he could be wrong about me, sometimes, that fixed a lot of things. I know that there is a lot of love between us. I now know that there is more respect than I thought. And I feel strong. I know what I am worth. If he is wrong or if anyone is wrong about me, too bad for them.”
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