What are the most recurrent factors of infidelity and how do you overcome a betrayal?

The infidelity It is a common theme among couples, more than we sometimes think. We have seen cases of recognized figures from the world of politics, art, science and all areas starring in scenes of infidelity. A situation that, if we are not prevented, can hurt us for a long time.

But what makes one of the members of the couple “take their feet off the plate”, what happens inside him or her that does not want to recognize it, how should we face it. These and other questions are answered by the psychotherapist and neuroeducator, Claudia Tassara for the El Comercio group.

factors of infidelity

There are many factors that speak about the reasons why people lie or cheat on their partner. According to Tassara, infidelity can be committed by:

Lack of love: It could not be said that this premise is entirely true because, according to the psychologist Martín Camacho in his book on infidelity, he talks about there being different options for couples: there are couples who love each other and do not cheat on each other; those who love each other, but are deceived; those who do not love each other and are deceived; and those who do not love each other, but are not deceived. “Love and fidelity don’t always go hand in hand,” he clarifies.

desire for power: There are certain people who are addicted to having power and, therefore, find it difficult to be faithful and are even unfaithful with the same lovers they have.

They enjoy the risks: They are people who are adventurous and love risks, that is why they are in constant clandestine relationships because they feel the risk. They are fans of novelties and the forbidden because they secrete adrenaline.

have a tendency to psychopathy: A psychopathic person has zero empathy, so when these people are in a relationship they are not empathic with their partner and many times they establish love or decide to continue in the relationship. They tend to be emotional blackmailers, they begin to see the relationship as a game.

economic status: It is likely that a person with a high purchasing power may have an insecure attachment, so he tends to be more unfaithful because he likes how he dresses, how he looks physically and wants more.

sexual desire: Sometimes couples do not have the same sexual desire or libido. The problem lies when there is no conversation on the subject or we do not look for solutions because we are ashamed and we silence our desires. So, it is likely that one of the partners, the one with a high level of sexual desire, seeks to fix it with lies.

Why does the infidel not recognize his mistake?

Fault: They feel guilty for causing suffering, they do not want to feel guilt, they do not want to have remorse or shame. They will then have denial responses to feeling guilty as a defense mechanism.

They don’t know how to repair damage: There are people who do not know or have not learned how to repair damage and have the wrong idea of ​​not telling the truth. That makes the couple lack confidence and they will always have doubts.

fear of breaking up: They want to be with a stable partner, they don’t want to break that, so in order not to lose everything they have built, they prefer to lie.

Pride: There are people who have difficulty giving in and asking for forgiveness. They are extremely proud people who think that they do not make mistakes or mistakes, so they do not recognize their mistakes and constantly deny the action they did.

fear of consequences: They are people who are afraid of what will come after infidelity, they are afraid of quarrels, fights or arguments. So because they want to avoid all that, they try not to admit their mistakes.

Preserve your image: Being unfaithful is frowned upon and is socially punished. That is why some people, when they are involved in this problem, do not want to lose their respectful, impeccable or talented image and lie.

Have you suffered an infidelity?

“Forgiveness is important, you can forgive to continue, forgive to break up with that relationship that hurts you so much, break up to get rid of resentment and overcome it. It is valuable to understand that no one is going to take away the initial pain, but what you can do is overcome the resentment that it leaves behind. If you experience infidelity and think about restoring your relationship or leaving it behind, it is crucial that you do not stay with that thought for a long time. The best way to go out is to seek to be happy with your partner or alone, “recommended the specialist, who also invited to discuss the issue with a specialist if you feel that you cannot alone.

What are the most recurrent factors of infidelity and how do you overcome a betrayal?