What goes through the head of a femicide?

According to international statistics, two out of ten men who commit femicide they take their lives. This means, according to the experts, that the danger is “much higher, because they are capable of even losing their lives in order to kill, so their danger is only equated to that of a person capable of immolating himself to generate a terrorist act.” ”.

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The psychologist Victor Caballero delves into aspects that try to explain what feminicide-suicides have in mind to commit these atrocities. Regarding international statistics, Caballero considers that the danger of those who do not kill themselves is really high because “they survive to continue the pattern of behavior looking for a new victim.”

-What goes through the head of a femicide who then tries to commit suicide?

– Generally, femicide is carried out by a man affected by serious disturbances in his personality, perhaps he is a psychopath, a person who presents a personality disorder characterized by a lack of affection, remorse and empathy, as well as a great ability to the manipulation and use of the other.

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– What are the warning signs, the “red flags”, to know that we are facing a potential femicide?

-Generally, these people tend to be very controlling, especially their partners, of whom they are constantly jealous (a psychopath can also present another disorder called jealousy in parallel to his psychopathy).

-What happens when they fail to have control over their partners?

– When they fail to establish sufficient control over them, they opt for the “definitive solution”, which is to kill them and then eliminate themselves. These episodes usually occur in the context of fights or arguments with the partner. In the specialized literature this is also called “dyadic death”, “extended suicide” or “extended suicide”.

Extreme controls: when something is not right

-Rest scenes and extreme controls are not good in a couple.

-In the couple’s history, relatives usually record numerous episodes of conflicts due to jealousy of the man, rigorous controls of an obsessive type, such as demands that the woman communicate by phone from time to time and make a video call to show who she is with. or in what place, cross-checks with friends (call the friend with whom your partner said you would go out for lunch to confirm if it is true), etc.

-Extreme behaviors…

-At home they usually install video cameras connected to their cell phones to control what their partner does when the man goes out to work. Faced with the eventual resistance of the woman to this type of control, the man resorts to psychological and physical violence, until reaching the extreme moment.

– What things trigger these behaviors?

-As a background to these pathological behaviors, there is a history of great lack of affection regarding the mother figure on the part of the protagonist (due to the absence of the mother in his childhood, abandonment, or having had a cold and distant mother who did not know give affection, but perhaps mistreatment).

Feminicides: children of absent and abusive parents

– Only affective lack of mothers… and fathers?

-Although maternal lack of affection is predominant, it is not unusual for these men to have an absent father, or an abusive father with whom this man identifies as an adult. With this emotional ballast on his back, upon reaching adulthood, this man unconsciously looks for a mother figure in a partner who dedicates exclusive attention to him, who makes him the center of his world, which, since it is not a realistic expectation, Little by little, she frustrates this man until she reaches the extreme solution: if she cannot get that exclusive dedication from her partner-mother, then she considers that she does not deserve to live. But immediately after completing his crime, seeing his dead partner, he feels devastated for having irreparably damaged the object of his love, and then he opts for suicide, as self-punishment for his unforgivable crime. .

-Why are these types of links with potential feminicides generated?

– What happens, on the victim’s side, is that this type of approach occurs because this type of men, who, since they are psychopaths, generally at first appear solicitous, attentive and “caretakers” of their partners. Little by little, this attention turns into confinement, which causes a loss of autonomy for the victim; By the time she wants to break free, sometimes it’s too late.